Perhaps someone comes to mind when you read “Difficult” people. Chances are, you find this person “difficult” because they have strong Saboteurs. When our Saboteurs are driving the bus, the ride is bumpy, unpredictable, volatile, and chaotic. When someone is hijacked by their Saboteurs, they are coming from a place of fear, reactivity and habit. If we’re not careful, we will quickly devolve into Saboteur mode as well because of mirror neurons (our nervous system starts to reflect the nervous state of those around us). Do not fuel their Saboteurs with your fear, negativity or reactivity! There is nowhere to go but down from here.

If you interact with other humans in any part of your life, there will be conflict at some point. In design and construction, you have a new team on every project. That means new personalities, new dynamics, new saboteurs and lots of potential conflicts. That sounds challenging because it is! However, there’s a simple shift in perspective that can make things a lot smoother.

Do you cringe at conflict? Avoid the challenging call with an unhappy client or underperforming team member? Or maybe you say “yes'“ when you mean “no” and later resent it. Whatever your pattern, when your Saboteurs are running the show, it’s bad news for relationships, personal and professional.

Our emotional state has the power to destroy or nurture—performance, relationships, happiness—thanks to our miraculous neurobiology and the wonders of energetic principles. Stress, anxiety, numbness and drama (your Saboteur’s currency) are all contagious. So are peace, calm, creativity and empathy (your Sage’s powers). Where are you hanging out?