Shift Your Mood in 8 Characters
A few years ago, I had a very challenging couple of months. I was stuck in a Saboteur spiral of negativity, dissatisfaction, and self-pity. Not a fun place to be AND it happens. I can’t recall where the inspiration came from (apologies, inspiring person), but I heard the world “delight” and I latched onto it as if my life depended on it. It kinda did.
I decided to take note of the people, places and things that delighted me on a daily basis. I would take a photo and post it on IG with a simple caption of #decemberdelight.
By day five, my entire perspective, energy and mood had shifted. Dramatically. My outlook was positive, my mood light and my heart open. My Sage was back online. Phew.
Appreciation, compassion, awe, play, curiosity, and meaning are all powers of your Sage that can help you navigate challenging times and turn that frown upside down.
This time of year can be one of those challenging times for a lot of people. Here are a few helpful strategies and tips based on the Positive Intelligence® operating system:
+Find the delight - focus on what is good, plentiful, whimsical, beautiful, silly or stunning. Then share it with someone. You have to give it away to keep it.
+Accept your imperfections (an everyone else’s!) - there are two ways we fall short; 1) others have characteristics, skills and assets that we don’t and 2) we have Saboteurs. Both are the human condition. Let it go. Give yourself (and everyone else) a break. Even if you combined MLK, Mother Teresa, Mandela, Bach, Einstein, Streep, Streisand and Ehrhart, you would still have an imperfect person.
+Aim for a 3:1 ratio - whether in your thoughts or your interactions with others, aim for three positives for every negative. This will counter the 3:1 negativity bias in your brain and start a contagion effect of positivity.
+Play with your Saboteurs - when you start to feel the tell-tale negative emotions of your Saboteurs (fear, shame, guilt, resentment, disappointment, regret, blame, irritability, anxiety, etc.), greet them with a sense of humor. “What took you so long?” “There you are, I’ve been waiting for you.” “What nonsense have you got for me now?” Name your Saboteurs to make it more fun. Mine are Cruella (Judge) and LIttle Miss Perfect (Stickler). If you don’t know your saboteurs yet, take the quiz.
+Remember the 10% - if you find yourself in a conflict or judging someone else, remember the other person is always at least 10% right. Get really curious and look for the 10%. Make a game out of it and give yourself a prize if you find it; play is another Sage power.
+When in doubt, empathize - Empathy is a wonderful antidote to Saboteur energy, yours or others. Picture the other person as a 4 year old—imagine their hair, eyes and facial expression; imagine that they have Saboteurs too and are scared and vulnerable on the inside—give them some slack for just trying to navigate being human. This may just be the true meaning of the season.
Journal Prompts:
Where do I find the most delight in my day-to-day life?
How can I start a practice of noticing more delight? Is there someone who could be a delight buddy?
What is one strategy I will try over the coming weeks to be more positive?
