You Don’t Have to Feel the Burn

©2022 Positive Intelligence

Let’s be honest. Somewhere along the way, busy became a badge of honor and burnout got normalized. This is not the path of ease and flow; it’s the path of stress and burnout. It’s the lies of the saboteurs—the voices of the inner critic, controller or pleaser to name a few, that create all our stress.

In a complex business like interior design, architecture or construction, it’s tempting to believe the lies and to hop on the crazy train of reactivity, urgency, blame and dare I say, drama. That’s a surefire recipe for stress, anxiety and burnout. Sound familiar? Read on.

Maybe those negative emotions can propel you, for a time. You might be thinking, “Stress motivates me!” or “I’ve gotten to where I am today by grinding!”

I hear you and this may be true. But do you have lasting peace of mind and heart while achieving your highest levels of performance?

For me, the answer was a big no. I’m a recovering grinder—exhausted by trying to do everything perfectly, anxious and alienated from failed attempts at controlling other people, places and things, and discouraged without deeper meaning and purpose. Not to mention not taking time to rest, be still or do nothing.

The belief that we have to push to be “successful” is a lie. It’s like keeping your hand on a hot stove even after you know it burns. You wouldn’t do that, would you? Lucky us, the human condition is to stay there and suffer, while the whole time we have the choice to remove our hand! Cray cray; am I right?

The path of ease, flow, creativity and calm is the path paved with deep empathy and understanding for yourself and others, deep curiosity, purpose and meaning, and clear-headed action. Have you ever felt really creative when you were stressed out? Have you ever done your best work when feeling anxious or exhausted or jacked up on caffeine?

The fastest way to access this path is to get into your body. Stop and notice your feet on the floor or focus all your attention on the sounds in the room or look at all the details of the palm of your hand like it’s the first time you’re seeing it. This simple shift will quiet the negative voices of the Saboteur “committee” in your survival brain and activate the wise, calm Sage region instead.

Unfortunately, we have an uphill battle because qualities like empathy, curiosity and purpose are considered soft or weak or passive in our go-getter society, particularly in business. But until you’ve done the work to quiet the lies you will keep bumping up against burnout even if you’re the most talented, most organized or most experienced in your field. I call it the inside job—aligning heart and head with your true north.

If you’re tired of being tired, try it. The grass actually is greener over here. Schedule a Saboteur Consultation if you’d like to explore with me.

Journal Prompts:
What does my version of burnout look like?

Do I feel my best when I push? How do I feel?

What “lie” drives me? What can I replace it with?